That tiny thing with feathers, which is hope

I completed another preliminary project for my PhD program this morning. That’s four projects down, three to go. Of the three remaining, one is nearly done, the other two are perhaps halfway done — but on the other hand, they’re both relatively small projects.

I have been asked by my adviser to have all three remaining projects emailed to her by…the 9th. As in, December 9th. As in, next Wednesday.

It’s not impossible. Just, as Douglas Adams might have said, very very improbable. But I have to try.

I’m not sure whether I’m more afraid that I’ll fail…or that I just might succeed.

Oh, baloney, yes I do know: I’m more afraid of failure. I want to finish these blasted projects. I want that feeling of accomplishment and relief.

Mind you, I still may not make it through this doctoral program, for a number of reasons, not least of which is, I have no idea where the rest of the money is coming from. Still, I’d rather fail for that reason, rather than because I was finally crushed under the weight of the preliminary projects.

And who knows? If I can get those projects submitted by Wednesday — if I can manage that Yuletide miracle — then maybe, just maybe, anything is possible.

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